Top 5 Reasons that I Prefer a Dress:
1) I'm lazy. A dress is one piece of fabric so I don't have to work hard to match my clothes. Also, the whole thing gets washed at once.
2) I like my scars and my big, bike riding calves.
3) I like a skirt that twirls.
4) Even though I wear dresses almost daily, I feel that others see me as a little "dressed up" in a dress. This is good for my confidence.
5) What does it matter? I am old enough, self aware enough, and comfortable enough that I should be able to wear what I want without it being a big deal.
However, sometimes it is a big deal. I get comments from people about how I'm "always dressed up" even though to me, I don't feel dressed up. Is the fact that my clothes are feminine mean that I have to behave in a way that is somehow more feminine?
Last summer I was told that I should be ashamed of myself for riding my bike in a dress. Why? Am I going to ruin the dress? Maybe, but I could ruin pants too. Is someone going to see my undies? Who cares? If someone is working hard enough to see my underwear while I peddle my bike they are the creepers in the story. Besides, how are underwear any different than short shorts or bathing suit bottoms?
I ride bikes, climb trees, bake cookies and clean up databases all from the comfort of a dress.
A couple summers ago I went to see the band Sleep with my partner and some friends. I chose to come straight from work and decided I didn't need to impress anyone by going to go home to put on some heavy-metal costume, so I didn't. On the way in the security people asked me if I knew that I was there to see Sleep. The usher near our seats said, "oh, I'll remember you" nodding to my clothing, and every person we knew there not only commented on my clothes, but apparently told their spouses about what I was wearing when they got home.
I would like to think that they were just impressed by my decision to not care what others thought but I don't know if that was it. What I did know is that my choice to wear feminine clothing at a metal concert made both strangers and friends comment on my gender identity in one way or another. I happen to be a straight cis-gendered female, I cannot imagine what this sort of attention would feel like if I were anything but. I'm relieved that I don't ever have to know.
The next concert I attended I was there to see my partner play. I was coming from a work function and made it just in time to see his band, wearing the clothes that I had on for the work function. In between sets a man in a leather jacket with the patch of his motorcycle club on the back, and the same facial and head hair as all of his buddies approached my friend and I and said, "You like this band? You don't look very punk."
Punker than you, dude.
